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The big twist: the soul-shaker, the ultimate climax that had everyone all a-Twitter, was when we discovered that the show had been fake all along. We hate to be that pesky nerd with her hand up saying “I have a question”, but we do. If this show was entirely fake, where were Heidi and Spencer? And why was Holly still crying over them on The Aftershow? Had the producers decided to pull this curve-ball ending with Conrad, we would have been livid. But because the show was lagging in both plot and protagonist, it seemed somewhat suitable to toss all remaining intrigue out the window.

When the “bitch came back”, we suddenly found ourselves with a center character we disliked. Not in a comedic, Eastbound & Down way, but in a superficial and let’s-be-honest boring way. It wasn’t even until the second last episode that we saw her cry (slightly) and thus proving to us that she can feel something besides entitlement and defensiveness.

I have another question. What does Kristin do for a living? With Lauren, we saw her many struggles at the office. The hierarchy at Vogue, the ups and downs of balancing life with friends and boys. We could all relate and shed a black tear with her when things got shitty. The only evident problem in Kristin’s life was what the hell she should do with it – cue the lavish trip of self-discovery to Europe á la Eat Pray Love.

Don’t worry. We’re not writing here to bash the obvious flaws of the show. After all, we did love it for the first 5/6 seasons – and a black tear was shed when we saw the flashbacks of old-Heidi hugging old-Lauren. We’ll just call this ending one of good timing, seeing as the girls were all starting to lose sight of reality as much as the show itself. Besides, Jersey Shore season two is about to begin, and that is most definitely still unwritten.

– The Cowgirls.