An Open Letter to my Sims Boyfriend.

It’s safe to say Sims 3 has taken over my iPhone – but this is the last straw for Jake.

Courtesy of Google Images

Dear Jake,

When we met, I was new to the town. I had just gotten my internship at the Town Hall and was content sporting my pleather pants, pink halter top and blonde pigtails on a daily basis. We met as friends but I was distracted, obsessing over Johnny – my next door, studly surfer neighbour who unfortunately rejected my ass.

When things didn’t work out with him, I called you over. You were wearing this heinous striped long-sleeve shirt under a punk-rock, wannabe hipster t-shirt; but I overlooked it, thinking: “I really want to press the ‘woo hoo’ button, so maybe I’ll try it with Jake”. We woo-hoo’ed and it was fun. But then you asked to move in with me. It’s hard enough paying for groceries on an internship’s salary, so I thought “great! Somebody to share my rent and provide me with some furniture”. Ha. Wishful thinking.

You: A) Don’t have a job and won’t ever leave the house. B) Go number two while I’m trying to shower. C) Eat all my food to the point where the refrigerator breaks down and I need to fix it. D) Keep insisting I buy us a bigger bed. E) Inviting Johnny over and dangling his hotness in front of me. F) Blasting the radio to stupid house music while I’m trying to sleep. This has got to end.

I’m really, truly sorry Jake. It’s just not going to work. I’m now the City Councillor, big bucks are starting to roll in, and we’re in a different league. Also, I’ve been sleeping in Johnny’s bed recently because he lives closer to work and has better food. No woo-hoo’s though, I promise.

I wish you all the best in your life, I would’ve packed up your stuff for you but you HAD NONE!

Lot’s of love,

Emma.