Another Week Without a Day Job

Comedian John Hastings takes us through his average, unemployed day.

Courtesy of John Hastings

EPISODE 8: Bing.

It’s bizarre the entertainment you can derive from a seemingly simple and childish act. And no, I am not talking about farting at the dinner table (although let’s be honest, I have a black belt in ripping gas). I am here to talk about Bing. Now as far as I could recall, Bing was somebody I listened to on Christmas mornings – but I was about experience a whole new meaning while biking over to a benefit show on Queen East.

As I peddled along, I ran into some chums and fellow benefit performers. We chatted for a bit, and leisurely biked through the fine Corktown area hoping to see a bum fight or a crack deal at the very least. No such luck. As we approached Popeye’s Chicken on Queen and Parliament, my friend leaned over and asked: “you wanna play bing?”

I told him instantly that I was not into dudes but thanks for the interest; he gave me a thirty-yard stare and explained that “Bing” was the greatest bicycle game you can ever play. How it works is one person leads the group by kicking something with his foot, and then the rest of the group has to imitate him. This was the funnest thing I’d ever heard of, so we played it both on the way to the benefit and immediately after.

Now I know what you’re thinking – what the fuck are you doing? You live in Toronto: home to wonderful culture, contemporary bars, and beautiful women. Why are you biking around town kicking things and then telling me about it?

Well it was fun, it was free, and it was fantastic. Bing’s the thing.

– John Hastings.