The Citiot’s Guide to Farming.

The Cowboys learn a thing or two about growing food.

Courtesy of Robert Gherson for Mushy Pony.

Two weeks ago, the Cowboys had the opportunity to wake up at 5:30 am on a Saturday and spend some quality time in a cold building with shit all over the ground. Why sleep in on the weekend when you could be doing that? We’ll explain. “The County”, as the locals call it, has in the last few years become a huge attraction for Torontonians looking for an alternative to Muskoka. With countless wineries and breathtaking views of Lake Ontario, people are flocking there to escape the city on weekends. And since local food products are growing in popularity right now, we decided to meet some of the farmers behind the actual growing of it.

Our first day was over at Everdean Farms, where we learned how to drive a tractor. It was a humbling experience seeing as we’d only driven stick once, but our farmer friend Kane managed to guide us around the clutch and gears. Driving around a field with a farmer attached to the side of your tractor sure makes you feel alive – especially knowing that one slip-up could lead to death by blender.

Next, we headed over to the dairy barn at Prinzhaven Farms to do some morning chores. These chores weren’t the usual grab-groceries-and-a-bag-of-milk type thing, these were more like: milk-your-own-cow kind of chores.

Courtesy of Prinzhaven Farms

A side note: us Cowboys, although manly and rugged, object to getting our clothes dirty. We wash our hands as often as possible, and always carry a bottle of hand sanitizer in the car. This was probably the most difficult thing to get used to, but we decided to embrace our dirty side.

And our smelly side. The very first thing to notice about a dairy farm, is the smell of shit (i.e. manure. The farming term). Once inside the barn, our first job was to shovel any manure that was sitting in the stalls into the gutter area called the stable cleaner, which runs the length of the barn behind the cows. This was a much more difficult job than expected; after a few minutes, our forearms were burning, and we were starting to sweat. For those who think pumping weights is a work-out, welcome to farming! After all the manure was shoveled into the gutter, Kane started the conveyor belt which takes the manure out the door and into a spreader to be used as fertilizer.

As we stood there gagging, the cows got ready for milking – dipping each of their teats into an iodine solution and wiping the shit off with a paper towel. It was time for us to join in. The milker, a central vacuum that works with pneumatic pressure to massage the cow’s teat, attaches to a central pipe system connecting to a giant tank of all the milk from the barn. Using this machine allows between 15 and 30 liters of milk to be produced from each cow twice a day. So much for the metal buckets we assumed every farmer was using.

After helping with the milking (i.e. trying not to get shit over ourselves) we helped feed the cows. The cows receive a mixture of nutrients, protein supplements and vitamins that maximizes milk output called Total Mixed Ration. Heifers (young calves who have not had babies yet) receive a pellet supplement that comes through some pipe, delivered by some truck, from somewhere… we missed a few deets.

Courtesy of Rob Gherson for Mushy Pony

After three hours of work and an afternoon siesta, Kane went back to work and we decided to head home. Working on the farm gave us a strong sense of satisfaction that is rarely obtained in our city life. But at the same time, we’re not sure we could commit to getting up that early every morning. We left feeling a new appreciation for such dedicated farmers – who’ve built their lives around caring for animals and plants to make our food. Farming is the first symbol of human civilization and the people who devote their lives to it should be praised and supported.

According to Statistics Canada, between 1989 and 2006, the total number of farms in Canada has been reduced by over 20%. If we want to continue enjoying Ontario peaches, corn, asparagus, cheese and other favourites throughout the summer, we have to support our local farmers and remember to check the labels before we purchase anything. Hey – it’s the least we can do for poor Kane shoveling manure every day.

– Robert Gherson.