Pass The Faux-voisier

T.G.I. (almost) F. Now let’s find out how to make expensive cocktails on a students budget.

Got a thing for martinis? We do too. Paaeez on College St. make this unbelievable drink, the Raspberry Fizz, made with Champagne, lychee juice, and fresh raspberries. Sadly though, it’s $12 per glass and once you have one, well, the next thing you know your bank account’s empty. But now we’re going to let you in on a secret: you can recreate your favorite pricey drinks without breaking your bank account. Not only will we show you how, but we’ll also provide you with some amazing cocktail combos.

The Naughty Bank-Breakers:

Moet Champagne – replace it with a sparkling dry wine. We recommend Mumm Napa or an Italian Prosecco. Not all fake-champers are sugary and vile. Still want cheaper? If you’re just mixing it in with another drink, use a cider instead.

Grey Goose Vodka – Absolut, Smirnoff, you know their names. Only Lindsay Lohan insists on drinking Grey Goose – and look where she ended up.

Blue Label Johnny Walker Scotch – Red Label is perfect for mixing if you like that brand in particular.

Cointreau – That extra punch of fruity flavour can easily be replaced with a splash of tangerine juice, lychee juice, or if you really need the liquor: Framboise.

Hpnotiq Cognac – Alize is a much cheaper alternative to cognac. But if you’re insisting, we recommend a newer bottle of Hennessey instead.

Apple Schnapps – Not too bad money-wise, but replacing it with Sour Puss can also do the trick.

Bombay Sapphire Gin – Give Gordons a try instead. Doesn’t gin taste like nail-polish remover anyway? Mixed with a hint of cedar bark?

Crown Royale – Oh whiskey lovers, every heard of the brand Black Velvet? Just as nice.

Ron Zacapa Rum – $45? No thanks. Go with Goslings rum for your Dark ‘n’ Stormies, those Bermudians know what’s best for you and your wallet.

Wine – Generally with wine, you can go to the LCBO and look on their sweet scale and compare it to the price. Everyone’s preference is different, but Stoneleigh is a fantastic pinot grisio. ($17) but a quick back-up is the lime-green tetra-pak for Three Thieves Bandit pinot gris instead. ($10)

Now that you’ve picked your poison, it’s time to graduate from Rum and Cokes:

#1) The Lipstick Martini. (Cost at The Hazelton’s restaurant: $20)

Ingredients:

Champagne – 1 glass.
Raspberries – 1 ts.
Cointreau  – 0.5 oz.

#2) The Red Ruby

Ingredients:

Vermouth – 0.5 oz
Gin – 1.5 oz
Pomegranate Liquor – 0.5 oz

#3) The Apple Martini (Cost at Flow restaurant: $12)

Ingredients:

Apple Schnapps – 2 oz
Vodka  – 1 oz
Apple slice

#4) The Rusty Nail

Ingredients:

Drambuie – 1 oz.
Scotch – 1 oz.

#5) Chocolate Orange Martini (For 2)

Ingredients:

Absolut Mandrin vodka – 3oz.
Cointreau – 1 oz.
Godiva White Chocolate liqueur – 1.5 oz.
Goldenbarr Chocolate vodka – 1 oz.
Kraft’s Terrys Chocolate Orange – 2 slices.

#6) Gin Martini with a Twist.

Ingredients:

Gin – 2 oz.
Vermouth – 1 drop.
2 small twists of lemon rind.
Frozen martini glass.

#7) Cosmopolitan

Ingredients:

Vodka – 2 oz.
Cranberry Juice – 1 oz.
Lime Juice – 1 oz.
Cointreau – 2 drops.
Small twist of lemon rind.

#8) Bloody Mary

Ingredients:

V8 Juice – 3 oz.
Tabasco sauce – 2 drops.
Vodka – 1.5 oz.
Worcestershire sauce – dash
Lemon juice – dash
Celery stick.

#9) Sweet Tart Martini

Ingredients:

Vodka – 1 oz.
Amaretto – 0.5 oz.
Melon Liquer – 0.5 oz.
Blue Curacao – 0.5 oz.
Pineapple Juice – 2 oz.
1 lime.

#10) Mojito

Ingredients:

Sugar – 2 oz.
Mint leaves – 10
Rum – 1.5 oz.
Club soda – 2 oz.
1 Lime (with crushed ice.)

Mmm.. All this talk of drinks is making us thirsty. Now that you’ve graduated from Mushy Pony Bartending School, you can start hosting some fantastic parties at your home – which is way, WAY cheaper than a Raspberry Fizz.

XoXo
– The Cowgirls.

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